Here we go

I am not a world weary person. I am not well traveled. What I know about the world is based on the limited scope of a Prairie metropolis, which still isn't saying much. I know that as a rule its a cruel place, and that it is only made kind by those you share it with, by moments of serenity, and that what small life we make here is a quick flick in a sea of millions. Here again, gone tomorrow.

I need to move around, to shift around unused wings and trim off into the wilderness. Wherever that is. I know this journey starts only 1800 km away, but I'm going alone. There will be no hand holding. There will be no smooth transition. It will be hard, and sudden. This womb will be history.

But fuck it. It's about time. All those years I dreamed of escaping have amounted to reality. I'm taking a page out of Amanda Palmer's book of It All. I'm strong, I'm free. It's happening. Now take a breath and jump.

Okay, let's start over. Hi, my name is Sam and I have an addiction. (Hello Sam, welcome to the club, you're not alone.) My addiction is life. I want to live it. I'm tired of reading about and seeing the glory coming off of everyone else experiencing it. It's my turn. Be it a small leap as compared to more monumental, earth shattering, soul touching others, it's mine. I'm going to take it for all it has.

I'm moving to Toronto for 4 months. Anticlimactic maybe. But not to small town girl with a hundred thousand dreams and schemes that have run out of breathing room in Winnipeg. I will give you this: this city has its poetry, its art, an entire different reality when you take the time to change your perception. I love it. But its time to keep walking. There's more to see. I wasn't born with legs for nothing.

Or wings.

Here's the truth. I'm scared shitless. But that's a given. Some people are scared of moving forward, some of getting out of bed in the morning. Because for some reason they cannot stand that they don't know what awaits them. That anxiety is what is driving me to do this. Because if not now, then when? It's definitely time.

The sail had always been there. And so had the sylph. It had taken twenty years, but she finally realized that if she was getting anywhere, all she had to do what breathe. The sail filled up, and they both moved ahead.

After midnight now. T-Minus 20 days. Time to breathe.